‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 7, Episode 1: Panthers on the Runway
Well, folks, it’s time. After a rocky-but-still-entertaining ride through season 4, we’re taking a deep dive into what many think is the worst season of all: season 7. I think a couple of All Stars seasons are worse, but of the regular seasons? Yeah, I think this one is a mess. But there are a couple of redeeming factors.
First, you’ve got a stellar cast. It’s not a season 2 or season 6 type of cast, where literally everyone is fantastic. But there’s a reason everyone from the top six in this cast has been in the finale in at least one season: the top-tier talent is pretty remarkable. Even some of the early-out queens are crazy memorable! But I’m getting ahead of myself; we’ll meet Jasmine Masters soon enough.
Additionally, a ton of memes came out of this season, largely owing to the ultra-quotable personalities. This has led to the season living on in a major way online. But watching it as a whole? We’re in for a trip, to say the least.
Things start out about as badly as you can imagine, as Miss Fame is the first queen to enter the workroom. I’m not a huge Fame fan, but I do think she’s talented. What she isn’t is a good pick for first queen in. That’s the one queen who has absolutely no one to play with; they need to be able to vamp for time. Katya coming in first in All Stars 2? Perfect. Trixie Mattel coming in first in All Stars 3? Ideal! Fame is just not at their charisma level.
Ginger Minj, the second queen in, would’ve been a far better pick for that role. Ginger is CUNT in all the right ways. I’d watch her sitting in a room for days. She’d give us jokes, songs, stories — all of which she’ll do this season, as well! That said, Ginger’s entrance look is rough, and thus we come to the primary issue with season 7, illustrated by Fame and Ginger. One is gorgeous, a fashion icon, and deeply dull as a personality. The other positively explodes with personality, but can’t turn much of a look. There is very little middle ground this season.
One who achieves something of a middle ground is Violet Chachki, the other fashion girl of the season. Ironically, she walks into the workroom in what is possibly her worst look of the season. Despite it matching her name in color, the look is pretty un-Violet; we’ll see her in three far better looks through the course of this episode. Violet has nerve for days, and can fake her way through an acting challenge when she needs to. We here at Drag Race Rewind Inc. are ultimately Violet fans, but cognizant of how she can be off-putting.
Speaking of off-putting: Holy hell, is the drama we get in the entrances dull! There’s a whole shade noise added to Fame ripping a bit of Max’s prop newspaper off to blot her makeup. Or the forced drama of Kandy Ho asking Tempest DuJour how old she is. It’s the latter drama that really gets me, as both queens go off in their confessionals about the other, but can’t manage more than a “Really?” in person. Boring!
Our last big personality in the door — other than Jasmine Masters fangirling out over Kennedy Davenport, which is indeed adorable — is Pearl. Now, I know what you’re saying: Pearl? A big personality? Come now, Kevin! Surely you jest! Well, fair reader, I do not jest; while Pearl is sleepy in her delivery, she is undoubtedly one of the main characters of this season. And darn it, I find her “Sup?” entrance quite endearing.
The mini-challenge this week — although as Katya notes, calling it a mini-challenge feels insufficient — is a fall and spring runway modeled after Fashion Week. That’s a lot to ask, when the girls usually just have to do a photo shoot! I personally wish the show would always start with a shoot — it recalls the series’ America’s Next Top Model roots — so I wish this mini had just been the maxi (especially considering what the maxi actually is).
On the whole, though, a runway challenge to start things off is actually a great fit for this group. The thing is, fashion queens can handle fashion challenges, and comedy queens can find their way around fashion challenges. But fashion queens can’t really handle comedy challenges, unless it’s a hidden skill for them (a la season 9’s Trinity Taylor, though she would better be described as a pageant queen than a high-fashion one). A season with this crew that is heavy on fashion challenges would be a stunner! That is … not what season 7 is. In fact, this will be the last runway-dominant episode until the ball at top five.
Regardless, most everyone steps up to the task, despite Jaidynn Diore Fierce aptly calling it “a lot for the first day.” The highlight look, of course, is Violet’s two-in-one tartan jumpsuit reveal. I always talk about what my favorite “performances” on Drag Race are, and this absolutely qualifies. The way Violet whips around in the reveal makes it a full show. I think we’re supposed to interpret her boast of “Being able to serve two looks in one is a talent” as silly, but frankly, she’s totally right. This is a major triumph right out of the gate for Violet.
But as I mentioned, the runways are just the mini-challenge. For the maxi-challenge, the queens must prepare nude illusions complete with tearaways. It’s a substantially simpler task, to be frank, and relies on what the queens brought from home as opposed to the usual make-a-garment first challenges. This maxi-challenge puts forth the impression that these queens need to be babied, and it gets the season off to a rocky start.
The nude illusion runway is mostly a snooze, though it does give us Jasmine’s first big, viral moment with the cocoon. That on its own is great, but then you remember she describes her reveal on the runway as “a little khut-khut,” and it gets even better. She may not have the best look — that, again, goes to Violet — but she certainly has the most memorable one.
Violet wins the challenge (duh), but before she and the other top queens are dismissed, they’re asked who hasn’t impressed them so far. Which feels like a lot for the first challenge! Perhaps my favorite part of this is that Kennedy says Trixie is the one who’s impressed her least so far. Cut to them being the final two in All Stars 3 just a couple of years later.
But it’s all ultimately just stalling and story setup, as the old-vs.-young rivalry of Tempest and Kandy throw each other under the bus and wind up in the bottom two for it. The lip sync to RuPaul’s “Geronimo” — maybe his worst song before “Super Queen”? — is a mess, complete with three confessionals to distract us from how bad it is. Kandy manages to make a slightly better impression, though, and thus Tempest sashays away.
Would you believe me if I told you this is actually one of the better episodes of the season? Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy season.
Serving Final Thoughts is a talent:
- The episode starts with “Born Naked,” which is the season 7 theme. It’s my favorite theme song this side of “Sissy That Walk,” so we’re off to a great start! Of course, we’ll also maybe will never get any higher than this!
- As terrible as Trixie Mattel’s opening paint is, her “I’m a hair and makeup artist, so” joke is perfect. The complex contradictions of Trixie begin!
- This episode marks the premiere of “She done already done had herses” as the mail call, replacing the transphobic previous line. Hilariously, Ru doesn’t even explain the origin of the phrase until the Countdown to the Crown episode this season! Here’s the explanation, since we don’t cover Countdown episodes:
- Ru making a “Balenciaga!” joke in his intro really hearkens back to a time when we as gay people knew every American Horror Story quote, huh?
- This episode also marks the debut of Carson Kressley and Ross Mathews as judges! Carson freaking out at Violet’s tartan reveal is about the most perfect introduction to him as I can imagine; he really does come ready-made to be a judge. (Conversely, I don’t think he’s grown much since his debut.) Ross, on the other hand, is kind of a mess, sweet but too nervous to make an impact. “The style is wrong, but the heart is right,” Ross? Really?
- Alaska sitting on the sidelines in Anna Wintour drag during the runway, making commentary, and not even being introduced by the show? Iconic.
- “Trixie? Did somebody from the crew just walk into the workroom?” Katya getting off to a great start with her eventual BFF.
- Kathy Griffin is the guest judge for the premiere, in her second appearance on the show. Remember when Kathy was just someone who could show up casually for guest spots? Before she was a cultural flashpoint related to Donald Trump? I miss those days.
- “Sissy That Walk” is the first holdover song for the runway, returning from season 6, but it actually won’t be the last. All of the first three All Stars seasons use the same runway song: “Sexy Drag Queen.” (Which, after a season of “Super Queen, I very much miss.)
- Kandy Ho gives us her most memorable line right away: “What the fuck?” What the fuck indeed, Kandy.
The next Drag Race Rewind recap, covering season 7, episode 2, will be available to Patreon subscribers next Thursday, June 20. If you’re jonesing for more from this episode, watch the corresponding Untucked below!
